The Quiet Revolution
Nikki Giovanni is gone.
She left my world quietly. I didn't know until weeks after social media feeds hashtagged her transcendence. I disconnected from the digital world in November because my brain needed to cool down. Just entirely too much senseless rhetoric.
I couldn't read one more meaningless Thread, or hear another piece of unnecessary commentary; the algorithm's obvious provocation of my ire. I couldn't take one more piece of crafted content speaking to the chaos of the world or to the unhealed parts of me. I just wanted silence. To feel my own thoughts emerge without disruption.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a little nonsense. But there are only so many times I can read: ‘but you don’t want the truth/where’s the lie/y’all just haters/I been telling y’all (sis, who are you?)/y’all stay mad/FAFO’. I should stop here because I’m having flashbacks.
As I enter the New Year, streams of thought gently return to the rivers of that creative source. Deep breaths fill spaces long constricted from bracing myself all day from the constant infusion of this chaotic way we now commune in the world. I love it for all the access it provides but the way it has diminished the vastness of this global space... I resent. I am unmoved and reticent in the grounding of my dreams into this reality. Perhaps leftover Disney tropes of magical fantasy and whatever 80s programming in my subconscious fight to exist.
This childish view I carry inside of me somewhere beneath doom scrolling and content consumption - it's all so frantic. I want to settle into a good book, a good story, a thoughtful piece of work, and then let it sit with me uncontested. With no additional context for a period of time. I want to sit with that 'hmm' rising in my throat from moments that make me feel seen, that help me see more clearly into some part of my experience.
Remembering the last three stanzas of Nikki Giovanni's poem "Mothers" - ‘Just to say we must learn / To bear the pleasures / as we have borne the pains.’ I let her words sink deep into my consciousness, where truth resonates. The framing of this moment gives me this sense that the universe understands how to speak to me; directly to the special, sacred part of me. A sweet smile of acknowledgment and understanding.
In this quiet, away from the digital clamor, her wisdom roots me to the same place where Maya Angelou's words first found me in my youth. This offers a connection to parts of myself so hard to access every day. To bear the pleasures of life; think about how they feel, taste, and sound, without disruption by a thought. Especially one that took no time to consider itself before bombarding my feed.
For this reason, Nikki Giovanni will live forever in space and time.
She will live on the shores where my soul seeks to connect and be anchored in the vastness of the universe; on the banks where Afrofuturism washes away the smallness of today, and our stories ripple outward beyond the boundaries of time. All this possibility weaved into the fabric of a brilliant future, where we ascend into the infinite alight with love and satisfaction.
-Leenadria